The Best Halloween Jokes for Kids
Our 7-year-old son is a very big fan of jokes. Ever since he was about 4 heโs enjoyed memorizing them and sharing them with friends and family. In the past weโve put together lists of our favorite jokes and our favorite riddles, but our list of favorites keeps growing throughout the years, and he isnโt showing any signs of joke fatigue. So now weโre branching out to celebrate our favorite holiday seasons - like the spooky Halloween season - with a list of our favorite jokes.
Lately, a new joke book has proven to be a great gift choice for our son. If we give it to him before a road trip he can spend the entire drive memorizing his favorites and sharing them with us from the backseat. So recently I combed through our collection and hunted down a joke book from my childhood called Spooky Jokes & Riddles by Jeffrey S. Nelson.
Itโs full of great cartoon illustrations with ghosts and vampires and all sorts of other monsters. The humor is definitely hit and miss, but our son is all about the puns. I think thereโs something about wordplay thatโs exponentially funnier for early readers who are still exploring new words every day. But mostly what this book did was send us on a hunt for even more spooky jokes for the Halloween season.
We also discovered that another one of our favorite sources for jokes - our Amazon Echo - has a catalogue of Halloween jokes as well. All you have to do is say โAlexa, tell me a Halloween joke.โ I have to warn you though, just like my old spooky joke book, Alexaโs collection is incredibly hit and miss. One jokeโs punchline required understanding the concept of โghostingโ in a relationship - so I guess itโs safe to say kids arenโt always her target audience.
This list of Halloween jokes is a compilation of all of our favorites - jokes weโve deemed to be worth memorizing and sharing with others every Halloween. We searched high and low for jokes we both think are legitimately funny. I only have so much space left in the old memory bank - if weโre going to be memorizing some spooky Halloween jokes together, they might as well be the very best! I hope you find a few to share with your kids and make them laugh this Halloween!
How can you tell that a Vampire is sick?
From the coughinโ
Why didnโt the skeleton cross the road?
He didnโt have the guts.
Whatโs a skeletonโs favorite instrument?
The trombone
Whatโs a vampireโs favorite candy?
A sucker
How does a witch write?
In cursive
What do vampireโs usually do on a date?
They go out for a bite.
Knock, Knock
Whoโs there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to suck your blood.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
She was always outstanding in her field.
Why are cemeteries considered so popular?
Because everybody is dying to get in.
Why did the Headless Horseman start his own business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.
Why didnโt the vampire have any friends?
He was a real pain in the neck.
What room does a ghost not need?
A living room
Why didnโt the mummy ever take a break from his job?
He was too wrapped up in his work and too scared to unwind.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them.
Why doesnโt the skeleton like Halloween candy?
He just doesnโt have the stomach for it.
Two monsters are at a Halloween party. One monster says to his friend, โMy date just rolled her eyes at me! What should I do?โ
โBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.โ
What kind of monster really likes to dance?
The boogeyman
Whatโs a mummyโs favorite kind of music?
Wrap
Youโre lost in a blinding snowstorm and youโre surrounded by vampires. What should be your biggest concern?
Frostbite
What happens if you donโt pay your bills to your exorcist?
You get repossessed.
Why wouldnโt the jack oโ lantern play poker with the pumpkin?
It was impossible to read her face.
Did you hear about the skeleton who was famous?
Yeah, he actually used to be some body.
Some people say that zombies get smarter with every brain they eat.
You know, just some food for thought.
How do you fix a broken jack oโ lantern?
With a pumpkin patch
Why donโt skeletons like dance parties?
Because they have nobody to dance with.
If you enjoyed these Halloween jokes make sure to check out:
The Best Jokes for Kids
The Best Riddles for Kids
The Best Dad Jokes
I hope you found a funny new joke or two to share with your family this Halloween. And if you have a favorite Halloween joke we missed - please share it in the comments!
