The Best Halloween Jokes for Kids
Our 7-year-old son is a very big fan of jokes. Ever since he was about 4 heβs enjoyed memorizing them and sharing them with friends and family. In the past weβve put together lists of our favorite jokes and our favorite riddles, but our list of favorites keeps growing throughout the years, and he isnβt showing any signs of joke fatigue. So now weβre branching out to celebrate our favorite holiday seasons - like the spooky Halloween season - with a list of our favorite jokes.
Lately, a new joke book has proven to be a great gift choice for our son. If we give it to him before a road trip he can spend the entire drive memorizing his favorites and sharing them with us from the backseat. So recently I combed through our collection and hunted down a joke book from my childhood called Spooky Jokes & Riddles by Jeffrey S. Nelson.
Itβs full of great cartoon illustrations with ghosts and vampires and all sorts of other monsters. The humor is definitely hit and miss, but our son is all about the puns. I think thereβs something about wordplay thatβs exponentially funnier for early readers who are still exploring new words every day. But mostly what this book did was send us on a hunt for even more spooky jokes for the Halloween season.
We also discovered that another one of our favorite sources for jokes - our Amazon Echo - has a catalogue of Halloween jokes as well. All you have to do is say βAlexa, tell me a Halloween joke.β I have to warn you though, just like my old spooky joke book, Alexaβs collection is incredibly hit and miss. One jokeβs punchline required understanding the concept of βghostingβ in a relationship - so I guess itβs safe to say kids arenβt always her target audience.
This list of Halloween jokes is a compilation of all of our favorites - jokes weβve deemed to be worth memorizing and sharing with others every Halloween. We searched high and low for jokes we both think are legitimately funny. I only have so much space left in the old memory bank - if weβre going to be memorizing some spooky Halloween jokes together, they might as well be the very best! I hope you find a few to share with your kids and make them laugh this Halloween!
How can you tell that a Vampire is sick?
From the coughinβ
Why didnβt the skeleton cross the road?
He didnβt have the guts.
Whatβs a skeletonβs favorite instrument?
The trombone
Whatβs a vampireβs favorite candy?
A sucker
How does a witch write?
In cursive
What do vampireβs usually do on a date?
They go out for a bite.
Knock, Knock
Whoβs there?
Ivan.
Ivan who?
Ivan to suck your blood.
Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?
She was always outstanding in her field.
Why are cemeteries considered so popular?
Because everybody is dying to get in.
Why did the Headless Horseman start his own business?
He wanted to get ahead in life.
Why didnβt the vampire have any friends?
He was a real pain in the neck.
What room does a ghost not need?
A living room
Why didnβt the mummy ever take a break from his job?
He was too wrapped up in his work and too scared to unwind.
Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them.
Why doesnβt the skeleton like Halloween candy?
He just doesnβt have the stomach for it.
Two monsters are at a Halloween party. One monster says to his friend, βMy date just rolled her eyes at me! What should I do?β
βBe a gentleman and roll them back to her.β
What kind of monster really likes to dance?
The boogeyman
Whatβs a mummyβs favorite kind of music?
Wrap
Youβre lost in a blinding snowstorm and youβre surrounded by vampires. What should be your biggest concern?
Frostbite
What happens if you donβt pay your bills to your exorcist?
You get repossessed.
Why wouldnβt the jack oβ lantern play poker with the pumpkin?
It was impossible to read her face.
Did you hear about the skeleton who was famous?
Yeah, he actually used to be some body.
Some people say that zombies get smarter with every brain they eat.
You know, just some food for thought.
How do you fix a broken jack oβ lantern?
With a pumpkin patch
Why donβt skeletons like dance parties?
Because they have nobody to dance with.
If you enjoyed these Halloween jokes make sure to check out:
The Best Jokes for Kids
The Best Riddles for Kids
The Best Dad Jokes
I hope you found a funny new joke or two to share with your family this Halloween. And if you have a favorite Halloween joke we missed - please share it in the comments!
